POEMS by rosevoc
AND THE COLORS OF YOU
Dare Me to Love You
Corridors of Gold
Labyrinth of Time
In Many Moons
The Moon, Our Mirror
This Time Dear God I Pray
Waiting for Autumn
I Remember You
One Sweet Rain
Train 69. For You
Colors: Painted Texts
Today, I Was in Vietnam
For Holy Workers of God
‘Luv’ you always,
Dearest one, the reply couldn’t reveal what I aim to know. As beautiful as white and blue clouds – only of two colors, all of you shift in glory, blazing flesh in shades so sweet, ignites fire in me. Bells in yellow dawn sing hymns of the sky, waking me up sweetly in a tender mist of a kiss. I awake with you in my thoughts, sleep with you in my thoughts and pray earnestly – chained above in drops of rain, if for mercy. How sweet the bells, prodding me to see the most faithful Heart holding our hopes and dreams. Refreshed, I come solemn with you in thought of our future. But it says “Live one day at a time. God will take care of your tomorrow, too.” In the afternoon, bathed in perfume I wait – hoping you’d come, and I, close to your skin; flesh to sky, sky to flesh – My shoulders, cold and bereft, always longed for your embrace; my wish, is to be next to you. So the cross, stands in courage – I lean my thighs, my arms, and my hands that hold nothing, but only your promises.
My husband! My life and my breath, a radiant amethyst of flame – let me cry in your chest; like the sea, you conquer in you hands is my love you conquer in your heart, hearts, oh heart in one beat, and a blast of stars – in God’s Sacred Love.
Dare me to love you, in the spaces of my imagination where there is no reality.
Dare me to sleep with you and chain me to your heart.
Dare me to seek out adventures of life where our mouths suck each other’s tongue.
Seize me not to think, but only love you.
I will let you touch me now.
All those years we’ve grappled to remain pure.
The flesh grows old, but then blood would always be clean in a spectrum of rainbows.
Your colors are elegant to me.
Your vivid sense of loyalty and stand illuminates salvation.
Our houses keep me.
They make me strong as a bull, but scared as a baby when you go.
When would you come back?
When would you sing out your heart?
When would we read again, then stop and kiss?
Our emotions will not furrow, I tell you not.
I would not allow it.
God has built you an android beating.
I live from time to time, newly created.
My poems forever will speak of zeal.
It is meant for you.
Dare me again.
Be with me on the subway, in the library, in the park or kneel with me side by side.
Dare me to love you.
Seize me not to think, but only love you.
I will stay.
Time, the precious stone of sunlight
Was your gift to me
Your hymn, the rising and falling
Tide of the shore
Was the only voice
I could recognize
Gold lights in the corridors
Were the precious hours
We laughed aloud the pantry
And when the lights were off
You told me I was beautiful
I have kept your word
Your every promise of hope
All that made you
The evening color
Gold in the calm
Corridors of the house
When your sturdy footsteps were
When faith in your eyes gleamed
In the tint of golden rays
The core of a pure heart
When, in the Blessed Sacrament of Gold,
Nested in the hours of longing
Breathed in me mercy
It was in the corridors
We sat together,
In the corridors, you held every bead
Grasping for grace
My heart wanted you
Your language of adoration
In those corridors
You were most amiable,
In your every breath of prayer.
Tonight I will hide from the world
And sleep with my sorrows
I will remember how in my delusion
You are real, like my flesh
Heavens say my lovers are angels
And so does unreal stories
Now I’m a frozen battlefield
Of thoughts which I couldn’t draw
My mortal body lay alive shielded,
It abhors those, unlike you
Would I ask GOD why He called me
To pen about your surrendering self to Him?
I just adore your lovely hands that raise up
Your fragrant mouth that tastes nothing but grapes
Your lucid eyes like stars and spring
I curl in humility where you love only GOD
When I see you with other women
Holding tight and even, if kissing only friends,
I feel furious
I can see your imperfections haunting me
Like a world of explosion on my being
I am your mother who weeps
Your daughter who seeks you
Your wife who gets your shoes
Your sister feeding your kitchen
I have no face
If you forget me, I have gone miles away
I have left with traces of my dreams
Burned under boiling sun rays
If only for tonight,
Let me hide from the world
So I can know myself.
Labyrinth of velvet soft chants, stay
Dwell in my heart like a baby
Carnival of childhood, teacher
Of truth beyond Cities, hold me
When I have missed Big Dipper and
Roller coaster fun, my wail reached
Your deepening rites, and I
Remembered I’m but dust and too
Fragile like the leaves falling on
Your hands. There you were on clouds
In caves, rocks, chipped snows, and rain
Showering fountains over me
My stories are my flesh, an
Incense that would lift you – fly, run
You. Be drumbeats of Kilimanjaro
Let you, climb the Horse of Troy
Around and around let go, let my
Tongue moan the maze in your heart
Trace vein, muscles of mountains
Where you kneel and etch those lips
Engraved on chest of blest nations
I do cherish who you could be
Longed your breath in wind of grace
Every time I glide a kite or
Fire a gun, or kneel beside the dead
All of me is Yours –
Red, ripe, grapes and mist of
Dawn, cup of eternal blood
Flex a simulacrum of walls
Between labyrinths crumble
Crumble before time, you lay
Bring me where Saints weave ripples of
Amaranth and gold. Shimmers
black butterfly wags you bold in
Stance, ready to plough pollens
Rich milk and honey, honey burst
From sun and stars. Let you bow,
Bow a thousand times and kneel
Plant, play bones and meteors, conquer
Free with your arms and hands
The promises of Moses
Traces of my breath speak of you
My nothingness dwells believing
Flames from heaven will burn and scythe
Scars shaking boundaries of men
Don’t you leave me now, but hold me
Tight. Grip my fingers tight, rest me –
On your lap and kiss me. Kiss me –
That blood I spilled, bled in your
On you – forever.
Soon, I will die for my love
and he will die for me
When our cups will be one
the earth will tremble
the mountains will crack
and the sea will divide
My dearest will embrace me
in the nest of the battlefield
and I will kiss the hilt of his
sword that will pierce the dragon
My dearest will chain Medusa
and bury the serpents head
I will let my knight ride on
my back and we will fly
and slash with lightning
any creature that goes
between our love
We shall never separate
until death meridians will
hold us together from pole
to pole our stars, an
army to guard our nook
The wind a shield to cover
from the foe and the
moon our bed of conception
will hide itself in red blaze
We will make love in
many moons, in 360
days we’ll sup bliss, sire an
offspring in Indian summer
They will till the soil
dig the sea, a harvest
so great, deities will agree
Me and my love, an
army of constellations
will never separate
Until in GOD’s hand,
In a deep peaceful slumber,
He will lock us in His chest.
We can see each other now.
You look to be as beautiful when we last saw each other.
Your eyes, your smile – and everything of you that grows old and stays young make me love you even more.
See the full moon, that’s our mirror.
Know I adore you for eternity.
For your mercy, grace, and love made visible everyday
For your manifestations of the little miracles
For the happy encounters that come our way.
For your care in our loneliest and darkest moments
Sometimes, unbelieving moments;
Father, your providence in us to share –
Your eyes on us, do stare
I pray, for your presence in front of us
Face to face.
Your power in us for humility
Your very tight embrace in joy
The fragments of Your breath Father,
And the HOLY SPIRIT blown upon our mouths.
In my place, autumn comes near Christmas
Far less of the day and more of the night
I have always longed to see it
The leaves of autumn and its gloom
Cry with me. The sky
Its golden and orange color
Speak of my soul
In autumn are times my heart seeks for you
I can hear your breath
In the circles of fog that color the wind
When your eyes meet with mine
It speaks a language we both couldn’t understand
But of efflorescence of dawn in the coals that fade
In the calm of autumn
Outside my little hut
I see the roses fall like sakura
Each petal fall like a teardropp that you wipe away
My words pile up a heap of dried leaves
In front of the grotto, waiting
I’d sit on a log, till the hymn of the evening rings
One by one you come and go
In the shade of stars and clouds, and the time I hold in my hand
A time I would not lose
Until the hours are nailed rainbows on my chest
Autumn, is my womb that grows a child
The white snow that hugs the old big roots of giant trees
Covering it safely, until it melts,
They are together
I know it will take a long time
To grow again, another tree
My tears fall on the earth
Burying the next seeds
Now the windows are filled with light
Illumined with trees stretched in abundance
Begging the sky
My womb, the earth’s womb
You were the dream I had last night
All – about you. When you held me
In the arms of eternity
When you kissed me in the brink of
Death. When you breathed in me. I
Knew I was the first you ever loved
I felt how you ached when words were
Mute. And you couldn’t shout your moan
And you couldn’t touch that dainty
Pink lace of time
Deserve my love
Every beat of my heart will kiss
For you. Every song I sing will
Shout for you – how much, how much
Rainbows flow and waterfalls
Gush on me. The clouds, the wind
A stage where I dance as day
And night I weave moon and stars
Then you, put a crown on my head,
The gleaming jewel of sun rays
I feel your eyes burst me. Your heart
Raise my brokenness. I die,
No other man would dare take me
Except you. In all my agonies
Drenched in every sorrow of the world
I have loved you
How my spine shivered, how my
Breath whispered your love. Till fragrant
Flowers bloom, Sahara flows
Fountain, and dawn herald
All heaven’s rupture of twinkle
Little fogs, stars, and mint snowflakes
Your hands, your eyes, your mouth
Your hope, your will are all I have
There are no other chances that
And, if not
My life for you
I breathe you
Day and night I long to touch your hand
and see the shade of your hands. How
those hands would turn red while I press
every finger and thumb locked into mine;
If only your hands…
The sky has took you in – faceless as I am
I wonder how you’d shave the beard in your jaw,
how you’d trim the mustache close to your lips,
how you’d smell the fragrance of my neck,
how your eyes like agates would look at me now.
I crave your lips, your tongue, the air of your mouth.
I wish they would touch, riotous, if sea and sky!
They merge in space with swift glory,
after the tombs fall.
My grief is solemn as white water
because you are everything to me
Seething flesh, handsome imagination
Different rocks and hues
How would you take me then –
if my times were chips that crashed?
if my bliss were only shadows and clouds?
if I were faceless?
I have longed for you as I have promised
waiting in seconds, hours, and years…
Every day, I’ve pleaded
and that is all I can be –
faceless like the sky.
I breathe you.
I breathe you in the moon and stars
I breathe you in the shrouded skies
I breathe you.
I breathe you –
Swift and loud like thunder, I’d come,
faceless, I’d come,
Love in the holy hours of dazzling Flame.
Barred walls real as cloud frames on sky
Door free and open as fields that grow
Wind blowing dust on pavement gray
And chains on feet to ground below.
Must I die now? Do I dare so?
My heart, speak not! My mind, shout go!
Dare the woods and trail of thorns
No coming back, breathed holes in trough.
Every leap, time seething by
Umber wet; bones scald in marrows
Heal threads of seas – You and I
Catching snows and flowers on mouth.
When are you just coming back?
How many all, stars I’ve counted?
Mounted on breasts, navel and spirit
My flesh, arrows spiked tombs and fane.
Incandescent fire and tender bliss
Know I live only for a time:
As a wick fades, my flesh ends
And next, a yellow sunset fence.
Seeds grow in umber fanes gold
Hands, waves on shores not weary up
Only human, I am so, un-god
Of myth, limbs so frail, nailed gravity.
Succulent fruit of red and after
Mind drifts impure, feculent thief;
Vines that crawl like serpent beasts
Thy sword, Saint Michael, in your fist!
O Holy God, Almighty One,
I search your light, Thy will be done
If after all, I must complain
Take all away, but You remain.
I remember you, in ways that are invincible
In ways that are sleek and frail –
In those times that haunt
In those times of fleeting presence
That tick of time
Your heartbeat was mine.
I remember you
In every word you said
My memory traces your smile
You lips, your tongue
Your neck, how it bore loneliness –
And the laughter in your throat
How you held love, when love was bruised
How your arms touched swollen shafts of rust…
I remember you all those times waiting for dawn
While we longed for each other.
Maybe you were with me
Maybe you were not
But we were one –
And in the ‘Anima Christi, ‘
‘Soul of Christ, sanctify me
Body of Christ, save me
Blood of Christ, inebriate me
Water from the side of Christ, wash me
Passion of Christ, strengthen me
O good Jesus, hear me
Within your wounds, hide me
Suffer me not to be separated from you
From the evil one, protect me
At the hour of death, call me
And bid me come to you,
That with your saints
I may praise you forever. Amen.’
I remember you –
Our love thrives…
Rain is my teardropp from sky’s glass castles
From heaven it comes to your hands, it slides
It lets you seek white clouds and up the sky
Brush lashes, wipe eyes, each time you cry
Rain reminds you of a Great God, who cares
It lets you feel my love, it whispers nigh
How I adore, I keep your every kiss
In my heart, when it rains, our love’s a bliss!
Rain, drops in the fields in time of sorrow
Fill hearts with hope now and tomorrow
Wash white as snow, tender, pure and fragrant
The angels chant in the drum strings of rain
Rainbows form; magenta, pink, and blue
Connecting valleys, cliffs, and mountains
Splatter in river, shred showers of falls
A baptism sudden in the dessert, calls
Rain, rain, let cradle your tired day
I think of you, my life, in every way
And when things come and seem to be unfair
Let raindrops fall, your tear is mine to bear
Rain, rain I love you more, when it rains
When together we’d hold like roots and lighting
When together we’d hug like torrents,
You and I; one sweet rain from God’s heart.
69. FOR YOU
After a series of litanies, I am ready to die.
I am holding those things that will only suffice
For a day, after one journey over
No food, only a few drops of liquid to wet my throat
No movement inside my body. In me frozen.
Maybe, near death –
When the lights were on, the air went cold
The doors banged the walls
Latch and locks opened just in wars;
And darkness brushed our seats numb in fright!
Ah death, may be near
The archer next to me, guards like St. Michael
His hands were swift and strong
But no feelings, like in war
My fingers numb too, no shivers, just palms
Waiting for God’s mercy and flame.
I could cry a flood of storms
But no, we have all struggled here
That old woman with a box, is a dragon
Her son, a monument of young blood
Her daughter, meek of heart
And the rest, holding on to an angel’s promise.
I couldn’t close my eyes; eye and soul open
In the night, heart beating fast, mind awake
Hands clasping and counting hours until dawn, in
The hour of bliss and grace.
I could remember the wails in Hondagua
When doors were locked and windows closed
And now – everything in the open
Snakes and terrorists might bite and bomb
But then, in the hand of the archer
I felt safe. But then, I couldn’t lay my head for comfort.
Even in my last breath, as I could still hold my packs in
danger: No sleeping because my husband is waiting.
Honor for God is honoring a vow
Even in the most trying times, even near death
Like soldiers fighting for a country
Like brothers fighting for truth
Like marriage, untainted in grace
I shouldn’t be the one; I am not the one worthy
Of these promises – I like to leave my cause
The agonies are horrible – but I must take the last train
I am boarded for this trip, and so, I have to go.
Weak knees, but daring heart to take an arrow
The archer with me – until I fall…
St. Michael, pray for us.
St. Hannibal, pray for us.
St. Peter, pray for us.
St. Benedict, pray for us.
Mama Mary, pray for us.
Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, we trust in you.
And so the Father of all, comes in prayers
Maybe, red ocher is the color of
Theology. Or blue as your shirt and
boots. Down rolls a canary wing
draping a stage, like curtains between
now and tomorrow. Your kiss is my
benevolent utopia, down my navel,
a sting like mint, and mine is pressed
pink between your loins. We are full
of love. Our ferry cannot drown, it rows
dancing suns, shafts of untarnished twilight
and a rainbow after bliss of drizzle.
Love gathers – dug in generations of
transient hues. ‘I miss you badly! ‘ I send
on my phone, ‘I miz you.’ Nights leave me
cold without your thighs and more empty
pillows. I drift to where you are, where acres
of trees grow clad in silver and gold
nectar, whites and orange. My words peak
glints of white light, a purple book etched by
Ratzinger, shades of dear ones, halos of
Saints and martyrs, fireworks of elusive
time blazing fire and tongues, reeling
constellations of roses and amazons,
bulk of history flourishing bright green.
Our ancestor’s sturdy night graves’ watch
over, as black bulls of science must obey.
I wait along pavements of fourteen stations;
I wait along trails of skulls, in Nazareth.
I wait down fields of earth, on blessed
mountains, on a plinth, only the angels see.
Our hearts wondrous adventures whisper a
prayer, placid then shifting a brilliant crimson
etched on sky above. Have you ever thought
my smiles are memories of your colors?
Have you ever thought my nights and days
are shades of you? Hearts of red, God paints
blood; bleeding drops of red, brush in me
One Sacred Heart – brush in me.! Brush in me
that immortal color of Him. In the red ocher
temple, I stay. Don’t delay, please…
Be home soon.
‘Kirye eleison. Kirye eleison.
Christi eleison. Christe eleison.
Kirye eleison. Kirye eleison.’
‘I miz you badly!
I really, really miz you! ‘
Sends my message, paints my heart.
‘Luv u, baby! ‘
To the library, I go, station by station.
You, peak of my dreams.
Those pigeons come to gather around my terrors, and for a time, say hello, daring on my palm, swift, ascending for a next flight.
I sit in the park, waiting for your call. My phone is dead, as your voice far and away.
“I’ve tried to hitch, Baby –“ become a flowering shrub like althea – but that isn’t just me; because I rake fire, kneel side by side with the sun or just stay a plain blade of grass.
A monument of mountains, St. Jude in my pouch, that winter, facing all the seasons of the earth, I face empty graves, most beautiful to make love. I mine every corner of katakana and kanji.
“So where are you?”
Sparkling shops of wedding gowns in front of dull pavements glazed with ice – an elegant silk for a dress razing my guts, a crow burrowing a steeple, posts lighting one by one –
Wither our promise?
“Never stop,” my footsteps tell me.
“Just don’t stop…”
Shadows start to peep, night burns the afternoon, sinuous wind blowing from the ground,
I run –
My socks seem just so heavy.
I run; I run – for the next ride –
My heart has, yet, to catch on the subway.
Today I was in Vietnam and
together, I sat beside everyone
beside you, beside you, beside you
and then in an empty corner.
How excited, I sipped a cup of
tea, cracked petals in my tongue,
red berries in my mouth
and then in an empty corner.
I rode the bike, but you had to drive
because my Dad said, ‘Be careful with
your hymen.’ And so, I never learned
how to ride the bike alone –
you had to drive for me all the time.
And then in an empty corner…
I wondered about your stories
You – were exciting!
Your thighs were strong when you kicked
your arms, muscled at work
your eyes – were the only eyes I’d die for.
I said ‘Love hurts…’
And you laughed, ‘Does it cut like a knife? ‘
And then in an empty corner…
All – I wanted was that empty corner
and when we made promises together.
I gave you my heart in that empty corner;
you swooned for it. We read.
Like angels fly, after the war,
all is free. Like waiting for a bus,
a long line of pleas and the face of a lover,
engaged and married, a joy of bells!
Let me kiss your hands now, like you
were holding beads of stars. How I
pray, God would bless every moment
of your praise.
Today, I was in Vietnam
and then in that empty corner…
I said – You complete me.
Those beads in your hands set all free
And then in an empty corner…
I said – I love you.
‘Oh, Thanh Hannibal, pray for us.
Send O Lord, holy apostles, into Your church.
Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, we trust in you.’
Seriously, Dear God –
In what place and time, did you nail me?
In what words, would you want me to
speak your truth? In what acts, would
you want me to manifest your will?
Forgive my little understanding that
couldn’t comprehend your glory.
How great you are! How loving you are!
How merciful and kind! Now hold a
child that grows old…Look at me, gaze
into my eyes! Hear my complaints, know
my wishes! Make me strong in zeal!
Let me understand, I long to see –
your face – And how, every moment I
desire your love. And so dear God,
I am flesh – frail and wanting. Life,
seethed and culled; love, grown and scald.
God show me now, what’s best to do;
how I could live my life for you.
And as time passes quickly, make me
thrust dear Father, light and beauty –
In your grace, in your mercy – prayers!
And what’s inside our hearts aflame.
Glide me like birds up blue sky so high
Evanescent life, with you be nigh.
God grant – your Holy Spirit, fill
move hearts with zeal, live life with thrill.
Bleak days of tests and drought, be gone
Dare thunder out, and chores be done.
My dearest one God, and Father of
the Universe, come dear – to us all!
Sweet love and fun, thy Kingdom, stay!
Scarred hands of time be healed, I pray.
Most Sacred Heart, my light, my love!
When drops of red, the deep sea sobs
I understand, those tides, your kiss
Most Sacred Heart, your love, my bliss!
Tomorrow I will be hanged.
I woke up, physical urgency has to go
A picture of Golgotha
To Trinity be praised
My blood, water to arid mesh
Brushed, perfumed my breath
Tomorrow, after today it will be done
Washed my hands, foamed untouched
Because tomorrow, I will ascend
Lined pillows like jets
From the sepulcher of mind
Checked locks and loops
My agonies long offered for you
Then hot water in a cup, for one
Will reap fields of golden pears
Sat for a while, and folded knees in front Jesu and Hannibal
My bequest –
Tomorrow, after today, I will be a different person
Might be late, bustled like a horse
And now in my summit
Some plaster on my ankle, slip feet into flip flops, legs into dark denim pants
And in my last remaining days – will be daring seventh tides
A blue ring on thumb, and one more sapphire
August beats your heart and mine, in one arrow, pinned in God’s collar.
Send O Lord, holy apostles into Your church!
PRAYER FOR VOCATIONS
Spirit of eternal Love, who proceeds from the Father and the Son,
we thank You for all the vocations of apostles and saints which have enriched the Church.
Continue, we pray, this work of Yours. Remember when, at Pentecost,
You descended on the Apostles gathered together in prayer with Mary, the mother of Jesus,
and look upon your Church which today has particular need of holy priests,
of faithful and authoritative witnesses of your grace; she needs consecrated men and women,
who show the joy of those who live only for the Father, who make their own the mission and the offering of Christ, who build up in charity the new world.
Holy Spirit, eternal Spring of joy and peace, it is You who open the heart and the mind to the divine call;
It is you who make effective every impetus towards good, towards truth, towards charity.
Your “inexpressible groans” rise up to the Father from the heart of the Church,
which suffers and struggles for the Gospel. Open the hearts and minds of young men and women,
so that a new flowering of holy vocation may show forth the fidelity of your love,
And all may know Christ, the true light come into the world to offer to every human being
the sure hope of eternal life. Amen
Blessed John Paul II
/ 20 lovepoems in February by rose flores martinez; Rosevoc 2014.